Tag Archives: Hot Spring Honeymoon

April 19,’18 Gridlocked in Tsunami Zone

Bio-Debatable Bat-Poop-Crazy 

Rattan Bike

Not the Destination? It’s the Journey? Are You Sure Sherlock?

We’ll say a quick hello… Thursday here in LA with Emeryville on our evenings itinerary. Got that? We’re aboard the vessel Sweet Seas.

Yesterday foolishly believing I could do better than be held hostage to the tyranny of Los Angeles traffic I took it to Malibu. There amidst the splendor the the brilliant and beautiful I walked along the shore briefly imagining I would speak with Dylan who wasn’t home and Cindy Crawford’s doorman who informed me that she couldn’t see me right now.

So instead I took a table at Gladstones where I’ve carved out heaps of almost free time- if you don’t count the $10 it costs to have valet parking hold your keys and car hostage until finished with that portion of the other part of the self indulgence you have so fruitfully come wallow in.

Highway One was bounded in traffic congested fender bending behaviors while I was completing the pleasant part of the adventure. Next came the extract the American from the inundation zone. Gladstones parking lot spit me out onto Sunset Boulevard and there snug and tightly fitted between others who had also taken to their automobiles I rotted away growing way too old way too soon on an otherwise lovely afternoon. A mere two hours and twenty-five minutes later I limped into my parking place in downtown some twenty plus miles away.

Let me leave you today with a quote from one of my favorite bachelors from one of my characters in Hot Spring Honeymoon.

Warm tubs

“You’re coming out for ‘naked night?’” Keefe asked.

“We’re going to have strong feelings for one of the guests.”

“What are you going to do with those pictures?” Keefe had a sly look on his face.

Glenna resolved. “Change how a person thinks…”

“Help him see the error of his ways?” Keefe asked.

“Finding a way to changing a man’s mind isn’t necessarily done by playing around with what he has between his ears,” Glenna said.

“A lot of men do their most penetrating thinking by way of another part of themselves altogether,” Keefe said.

“I’d say that holds true for near all the men I’ve ever known,” Glenna said.

Edited Red Star

It Ain’t Over Till the Fat Canary Starts Sizzling…

Six Boats

Setting Sail for a Better Future

Let’s head out from here where sanity prevails. First, we have a global manmade climate crisis. Got that? Let’s get our priorities right. Wake up!

Next up is worldwide population levels continuing to expand while we wreak havoc upon the support system all these new lives will need if they are to survive.

Our politics and our economics are complex. This is a two headed monstrosity. One defends the other, while the other goes about plundering the world and taking a modest sum of their profits to keep propping up their enablers.

Like an addict business just can’t help itself. The business of business turns out to be all too often quite rapacious of resources and let’s just say not particularly talented at focusing upon sustainability to say nothing of mankind’s survival.

And then there is Hillary Clinton’s campaign, a Democrat running for office and she can’t take a position on the Keystone Pipeline? That’s not going to get the job done. Does she support the Transpacific Partnership; a trade agreement that affects 40% of the world’s global trade? No, she can’t say one way or another. We are being asked to vote for a riddle inside of a mystery.

There is all of this plus we have Republican Senators plotting in an effort to defund the Affordable Care Act which would result in stripping 17 million citizens of their health insurance. This isn’t humanity’s best moment.

Plus, with the world bursting at the seams with people this same grand deliberative body is rushing as fast as their fake bile can be spewed to defund an organization that tries to help all of humanity in general and women in particular to determine if and when they will have a child.

Some low life named Drudge calls the Pope the Antichrist. Some Cuban out of Florida running for higher office claims Obama is covertly funding the same terrorists that the Pentagon is trying to kill. Please…

Here is the situation. We have to deal with climate change. That means doing something about it here. We’ll need to work with every other country in the world because this isn’t just our problem it is the world’s problem too.

Next up is getting control of the world’s most voracious inhabitants… human beings. Where to start? Well, obviously we’ll need to figure out where all these people are coming from and why there are so many individuals, religions and governments blocking efforts to help humanity manage their reproductive systems. What the hell is wrong with you people?

This isn’t a mystery. If we deploy women’s health care programs across the world we will enable billions of earth’s citizens to have the chance to choose the right moment to start a family.

If you object to offering others the chance to choose how they wish to arrange their lives then you might well be confused about what the difference is between freedom and tyranny.

Finally the stupendous wealth that has accumulated in the hands of so few has in turn been used to frustrate efforts to put in place policies that will go a long way toward solving humanity’s problems. It turns out great wealth is in and of itself a great big problem.

Billionaires are not a feature of capitalism they are a flaw and to drain the swamp of excess wealth is to make our world a safer more egalitarian place where we might well survive if only we can clear our minds of the haze and get focused on the challenges we face.

Does this sound radical? Cleaning our air? To help men and women determine when to start a family? To tax our wealthiest citizens more and our poorest citizens less?

Some political party is going to have to clear their throat and speak out and then pass the necessary legislation. Trump and Sanders are merely canaries in the coal mine. They are harbingers sounding the alarm.

Our political, religious and economic systems are in desperate circumstances. They are all in need of change and yet each has exquisitely organized itself to resist change. One way or another, this is going to come to an end. I’d prefer a soft landing or if not perhaps it is time we start manufacturing helmets… and fast.

Five Boat

Let’s Set Humanity’s Course for Survival

How Sweet It Is

Pouilly Fuisse
The Most Beautiful Places in the World

Timing is everything. A good location doesn’t hurt.

But, it’s the intangibles that will get you.

“To be completely honest, although I love living in the city, it’s not my favorite place to perform.”

What?

“It seems to have an overly-politically-correctness vibe.”

Really? So, we haven’t changed; they have?

“They seem to repress some of the fun and energy that our typical street show presents.”

For the love of show business.

Street act is foreground, cityscape is background.

A performer is barely on earth. We’d like to be, but you know it’s tough. We tend to be on stage, in bars, at rehearsals. Why isn’t that enough and if it is why doesn’t it come with a dental plan?

Once you have an act you are set. You get to be witness to more death than a mortician. There’s a lot of turnover in this industry.

One day the best act you’ve ever seen turns out to be a plumber. That unexpected incarnation put the fear of god in you.

As Jackie Gleason opined after a sip from the good stuff at the opening of his schtick.. “How sweet it is…” He’s only making that crack because of all the cadavers stacked up backstage.

So, the hungry acts know that you best keep the hook baited. Nothing but nobody waits for spit.

That’s the game. In these modern times. We used to be lousy with gigs from Salinas to Santa Rosa. But, that’s all dried up and nobody left instructions for what to do next.

You want a career in show business? Buy a suitcase, look for cheap tickets. Keep an eye on your back. Change is coming.

Then, you know, the phone rings, they need somebody for some spot dates in Northern Arizona on the Navajo Indian Nation’s territories. “Are you available?”

“You got to be kidding me? I’d do that date for free. When do we leave?” That’s how it is in my game.

You get the regrets and those of us with the moxy to have stuck it out we get the unpaid bills.

Nothing is free but for love and even that bargain comes with baggage.

I got an Australian friend in Dubai playing his swami act with a fake Indian accent to the Emirates. That’s some kind of con he’s got going. And YOU wanted to be in show business…

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 This is what the professionals look like…

How to Not Write Anything Brilliantly

Write What You Know
Write What You Know

We go to busking great Tim Motley enjoying his summer in Melbourne for this: “I try to sit down with my morning coffee around noon.”

It usually happens first thing,” Dan Looker explains, “when the previous evening’s alcohol and the morning coffee meet in a front.”

That’s some kind of weather pattern.

The well washed one- veteran British comic- Andre Vincent, “It is thought of in the bath and then never stopped working on.”

Ellen Gavin screenwriter and former theatrical producer at the Brava in San Francisco confides, “I try to write from 9 until 3…” and then cheerfully admits, “I’m supposed to be at my desk now.”

Most writers do their best writing when they are supposed to be writing. It is only when we are actually writing that it is so difficult.

One way or another, sooner or later, they do get it down on paper.

Jay Alexander explains, “I send a recording of my show and have a professional transcribe it.” He’s got the idea.

“I’m open to writing,” Lee Ross explains, “I did get up and do an ‘open mic’ the other week and killed.”

This is how the really gifted writers write.

As Karl Saliter explains, “I continually find myself 10,000 miles from the keyboard.” This is pure virtuosity.

Still technique is important. Rob Williams, “I recommend upscale pencils… look for the Palomino Blackwing Series.”

They are impossible to find.

Andre Vincent, “Notebook is friend, memory is enemy.”

James O’Shea, “I’m not trying to plan anything or know what the story is about.”

Here it is sage advice from many of the hardest working writer-entertainers in show business.

Take it from the working professionals. Blaming writers block is overrated. Hard work is for suckers.

They say that we all have a novel in us. Writing it down, printing it out and putting it on a shelf. That is so last century.

I hope this clears thing’s up for those of you who might still be thinking about writing something.

Out with the Old
Out with the Old

Want to find my comic novel

Hot Spring Honeymoon…

Click on the Picture Above

Kissing George Wallace at a Petting Party

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Fire the Boat Up… We’re Coming For Them…

It is all connected. Let’s review. Climate change is real and carbon dioxide buildup in the atmosphere is the cause of the problem.

Income inequality is real and uber wealthy titans of industry and finance have rigged capitalism and now literally spray money to regulators and politicians to maintain the status quo. This is a problem.

Sideshows? Sure we got plenty. In U.S. it is voter suppression legislation. The majority up at the House of Representatives is of the opinion that the voting rights act does not need to be renewed. They are a problem.

Union busting has been such a success we need to move on. What else can we do? Let’s defund social security. It ain’t nothing but a New Deal communist plot to weaken the spineless and lazy laborers.

More… We will create a 401K, then we’ll make it kind of cheesey… make it kind of mathematical and then while it looks like you are getting a 5% return on your retirement account we’ll let the fund managers take 2% off the top leaving you with 3%… Yeah, that gets the fund managers 40% of your return. You got that or is it too hard to wrap your head around? You shouldn’t be allowed to vote you are so stupid. You can be your own worse problem.

That my friends is what we are up against. Ready for this one? About 90 multinational corporations are responsible for most of the greenhouse gases being dumped into the worlds atmosphere. Ninety multinationals with thousands of locations, but when you are fighting snakes you go for the head of the animal not its tail.

The parade of rush hour traffic goes and surrounds each one of these ninety titans of industry and we punch them in the face (dramatic expression only… use your words) until they figure out how to stop dumping all the carbon dioxide they make into the atmosphere?

It isn’t complicated. That feeling of helplessness you are feeling isn’t a symptom it is a feature. The Fear News Channel pumps non-stop terror into your amygdala keeping you hypnotized into believing that what we really need is a bigger bomber and more guns in the hands of our citizens.

What if what we needed was a posse to saddle up and go arrest a few hundred white collar elites throw them in jail and then be sure to pay a fair wage to workers who we hire to shut down and or clean up those ninety multinational corporations?

Our institutions are failing us and by us I mean the collective good will of virtually every citizen I speak to on the street in the course of my day. I do not meet a single soul that wants to burn every last piece of carbon based fuel on this earth, incinerate ourselves and literally bring civilization to an end.

Citizens I know are also for a fair wage for a fair days work. Most of us are so piss poor at math we don’t even know what it means to have a boss that earns 400 times more salary than we do. What does that mean? It means if you get a salary of $4000. per month your boss is making $1,600,000. (one million six hundred thousand dollars) per month.

When you explain this most people cannot believe that is the truth. No wonder we want to privatize education. You see we count on you not be able to count and even when you can count we count on you not having any faith you could do a damn thing about it. So far they’ve been right.

You are reading my outline to my next novel and it will be a comedy. If you got a problem with any of this maybe time to ask yourself how whether its just a faith based case of delusion you got gripping your mind.

Ninety multinational corporations… and every single one of them is run by some guy who wished he’d been around to vote for George Wallace.

Hot Spring Honeymoon is now on Kindle Select… ” I didn’t want the book to end…” 

Showgirls

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From Australia with Kate Wright Dynamite… Best Showgirl the other side of Hawaii

If you are in the juggling game you find that each phase of life is building toward the next phase. Hopefully the next phase begins before the present phase ends.

We try not to be phased by any of this. Instead we try and stay ahead of the changes and welcome the next phase while trying not to be caught clinging to the previous phase.

While you are in the thrall of your youth most of this counts for nothing. You are too into the launch phase. You hardly notice that ahead will be a labyrinth of complex choices to navigate on your journey up then down and finally out… also known as the final phase.

In one phase we go indoors. In certain venues we are dealing with cigarette smoke, scantily clad showgirls and magicians that like to drink whiskey after shows in the cheapest saloon they can find.

The showgirls and want-to-be boyfriends tag along every night. Cheap whiskey, road weary magicians and showgirls are a jugglers fringe benefits.

Jugglers pound out decades of work. By the time we are near done we are like Fuller Brush salesmen; we’ve almost knocked on every door in every town.

Showgirls are like meteors. They get a contract, tour with Ringling for a year, pick up a second season at a theme park cast as eye candy in the killer whale show, and if they are really lucky end up in Las Vegas closing in on the end of their careers in one of the cirque du soleil shows.

You get to thirty and you are top dog in the chorus. Those slender hips are looking voluptuous by now. You’ve been glueing eyelashes, blowing kisses and winking at the curtain calls so long you honestly can’t remember a month since forever that you didn’t read Vogue cover to cover backstage waiting to come on to do your tits and ass closing number.

And for what? So you can be on a diet? All so you can go have a lousy drink with some want-to-be boyfriend and a couple of jugglers lousy with misery over missing their wives?

The showgirls are tough as they come. They got trick knees, sore hips and bad backs. None of the want-to-be fellas got the guts to fight off the racking jealousy that comes with tramping with a lady dancer entertainer.

That’s show business. You get in, you get a gig, and one day all too soon you get out. Curtain closes and nothing but a ghostlight on stage and nothing left but a few pictures in a scrapbook of you with a pair of the best pair of legs any man has ever wanted.

Showgirls are nothing but rotten lust and heartbreak. Break a dads heart, break a fellas heart and break a jugglers heart watching them kill it every night and for what? So, they can retire at 37? So they can go start a family before its too late? Tough as nails these dancers.

It’s not living the dream so much as having surviving the heartbreak of starting the next one…

Extinction Event Bribery Style

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Monument to Civilization, Stratosphere

“Why are you picking a fight with the Chamber?”

“Just standing my ground.” Keefe said.

“We usually go around him instead of through him.”

“Well, it’s a new day for Meadowhawk,” Fletcher said.

Gallup that fabulous polling organization that quantifies what we already know has confirmed what we already knew: our political leaders are in a knotted stinky quagmire. That’s right they have been bought.

Our journalists, especially the partisans brainwashed and paid off inside the beltway are infected with the disease of seeing things the uber wealthy way as well.

Nobody is paying me squat for my point of view and like a lot of ordinary American’s I’m pissed off. The fact is I’m mad because if they’d give me a good chunk of bucks and I’d sing their praise too.

Sadly nobody seems to want to influence my opinion and so I am in the position of having to call them like I see them.

Let’s review that list of matters that concern American’s but are of no concern to our Beltway Babies who have their lips firmly clamped upon the moneyed….

Take fixing our roads, bridges, airports, water treatment facilities… it is called infrastructure. We used to fix things.  Take my unpaid word for it the uber wealthy in this country fear they might be taxed to make those repairs and thus block new funding. New infrastructure is a loser.

Did you know that 7 out of 10 of us are for clean air and water? Fuck that too. We just elected to Congress the largest group of climate change deniers east of the Mississippi. No deal there.

Criminal background checks? Nope. Ain’t going to happen. 9 out of 10 American’s like the idea of background checks. But, listen to me, please sit down and let me read you the facts of life. You don’t buy elections the NRA buys elections. Your opinion is spit in the wind.

A mere 20% of our citizens believe abortion should be illegal in all circumstances. That’s right where I come from that number is even lower. Evidently they hooked up with the NRA because we are dismantling Roe vs. Wade board and nail across every red state in this union.

About 90% figure there is some good in birth control. A bunch of sorry ass fanatics went to the Supreme Court and they said it was against their religion to be part of family planning. Sorry ladies you are on your own.

So, you see this is what money in politics does to democracy. Right now as we speak oil has just sunk below the $50 threshold, some figure it could go as low as $20.

There is a worldwide glut (that means there is too damn much of the stuff on the market) and what is the first legislation the Senate wants to pass? That’s right the XL Keystone Pipeline

This isn’t the people’s business that is being done. This is the business of a couple of Libertarians from Kansas being done. This is Big Business slapping the spineless bought off legislators around.

It would be swell if our problems were ordinary. If it were merely a banking crisis. If it was just that we needed more teachers and better schools. But, it is much bigger now that we’ve squandered all this time pretending to be a democracy. What we have is a full blown crisis of civilization problem.

I used to think we just had ordinary human problems. I wasn’t really thinking my pigheaded generation was going to close its eyes and plug its ears (for a fee…) and allow the world to go all to hell. I wouldn’t have believed that at one time in my life, but that was then and this is now.

You don’t like what I got to say? Well, come on, give me a little something and might be I’ll sing a different tune. Until then I am speaking truth to the spineless bought off money grubbers of the world. You know who you are. You should be ashamed…