Tag Archives: Anti-comedy comedy

The Bugs of the Sea of Cortez

Another Perfect Day

Anchor holding in San Francisco off Bay View Boat Club. I spent the night on the hook. Here in 1980 I visited the club to attend a meeting of the Dinghy Cruising Association. The DCA trains sailors to cruise by dinghy. Sailing long distances, sleeping and eating aboard a 14’ sailboat requires considerable planning and skill.

Because of the DCA I took my sailboat by trailer to the Sea of Cortez in 1985. There my girlfriend and I sailed off to the islands near Bahia de Los Angeles. Aside from having every kind of bee, wasp, hornet, fly, mosquito, and noseeums feasting upon our flesh it was an altogether unremarkable sailing experience.

Bay View Boat Club circa March 2020

Then while digging out a site for our tent we encountered an unusually significant number of small scorpions living in the soil. Then, there was the matter of the enormous iguana population. Like everywhere we went the iguanas were perched on rock and rim top of every hill and canyon we explored.

Fortunately because of very high winds for 48 hours we were allowed the pleasure of exploring without the insects as they were grounded by the weather. Not so much the iguanas or the scorpions. We had thought it might be prudent to retreat back to the village from where we started but that would need to wait for winds to recede. 

With such violent winds blowing we dragged the sailboat up onto the beach. To secure the boat we collected large volcanic rocks and filled the hull half full to keep the boat from blowing away. Our tent the only safe bug free location on the island failed the first night and we slept with makeshift poles we fashioned from remenants of trees that had been washed up in our lagoon.

An adorable field mouse with a rather unique kangaroo styled set of rear legs spent evenings jumping up and peeking at us inside our tent. It was almost cute, A flashlight was used to dash down to the sandy shoreline at night where the worlds largest outhouse without the house and with the out was located.

Island Magic

Bring lots of bug repellent if you intend to go Sea of Cortez island hopping. Depending upon the time of year there are less or more insects. I’m telling you so you know. As best I can tell this travel tip is rarely mentioned. I don’t know what islands the other writers have been visiting but the islands I visited were the buggiest places I have ever visited until a few years back trying to make my way to shore through a mangrove forest twenty miles out of Key West on another uninhabited island or key as Florida describes them.

I prefer my adventures to be not too hot and not too cold. Not too dry and not too wet. Not too dull and not too exciting. I think adventure by sailboat is most often in the range of what we might all consider reasonable. But, you know like all those workshops you attend, all the bolt cutting, emergency transponders, life rafts and flare guns you stow aboard but seem to never use? Maybe you just might want to reconsider why a previous adventurer is suggesting you be prepared.

About two miles up the bay there is a cruise ship terminal. Offshore there is a ship that has been ordered to standoff the coast. Aboard a passenger has died as the result of contracting the coronavirus. Death is no laughing matter. Heartbroken survivors of the deceased will forever be changed by this event. Still we are going to need to to buck ourselves up and get up and get on with our lives. I’d imagined sailing alone on the bay for a few days would provide a respite.

Downtown San Francisco

I’m seeing a weekend of weeding in the garden, a walk with my wife on a trail, and lots of popcorn and binge watching some as yet unseen Netflix series. This might be a good time to remain in place, at least here in Northern California. I think we all know people who haven’t changed one thing yet. That won’t be true much longer. Take care of yourselves out there.

Those Sucking Sounds

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The Puzzle Solved

I would be more comfortable with the trade negotiations now taking place if the titans of industry were bellyaching.

I don’t hear them complaining about the labor provisions.

I don’t hear them bitching about the environmental regulations they would have to obey.

I haven’t heard word one about currency manipulation.

What the hell is wrong with these miserable complainers? If they don’t like something they usually will moan and groan day and night right through the mouths of some of the best bellyaching lobbyists money can buy.

You see they’re just not miserable enough and that must mean in my book that they are skinning the cat just the way they like it while you and me are getting left with the fur and the fleas in the deal.

You see I am a free trader. I am also a fair trader. I like doing business with other countries. Trade negotiations by my reckoning are handled by the wrong people. They have by way of training focus upon particular aspects of trade. We call those focal points special interests.

Well, you see we have special interests too. I know a waitress with a cute fanny and she indeed has a whole legion of gentlemen who are especially interested in what they find so interesting about her fanny.

Believe me there are sincere trade negotiations taking place over access to her marketplace. And let’s just say I know her to be beautiful through and through and expect the final agreement to be of loving benefit to both interested parties.

That’s the miracle of a good trade deal right there. You want all interested parties to be pleased with what they get in the end.

I’m not a scholar, I read the same things you do, we all get to look at the same things, and those of us on the outside of this impending deal are being denied a good look see at the terms to this deal they’re cooking up.

If I had Wall Street bitterly complaining that labor was eating their lunch in this deal I would sit up and take notice and I’d start having some confidence that maybe, just maybe we are finally on the right path toward a fair deal.

No sir, things have the odor of a day old catfish left to rot in the sun. That’s what a no good deal can do to a nose sniffing around for sweeter terms. So come on stop pulling my leg. You trade negotiators stop pretending like this is going to be good for all of us.

It just ain’t so and if it was you’d be screaming to high heaven how the country simply cannot afford to consummate this deal.

That Brilliant Joke Teller Sam Brownback

Hack

No fixing stupid, No cure for stubborn…

I do own a suit. I am an entertainer. I can say things that aren’t true. In fact in my business I’m not really required to tell the truth. I’m in the business of amusement.

If you stand up and raise your hand and volunteer to fly an airplane you had best been trained, licensed and do as you were taught. Leave improvisation to the comics. In piloting we don’t like to do stupid.

Let’s take a trip to Kansas shall we? How about that amazing, brilliant joke teller himself Governor Sam Brownback? There’s a laugh riot of governorship right there.

And where did Sam get his ideas? No, not the nitwit, that tower of intellectual probity himself Arthur Laffer. Yes, he took Laffer’s advice.

Laffer was getting hammereed at a roadhouse playing liars dice with the slice and dice tax cutting legend Grover Norquist. A match made of sewage if ever there was one. Here in one convenient location were two of America’s greatest hole diggers tossing back shots of misguided sludge as if it were god’s truth.

“Boys… let’s keep digging them holes…” said the Heritage Foundation hack fraud economist Steve Moore. You see stench is an irresistible odor that draws other hacks.

Right there in one place we have three celebrated hacks and Governor Sam Brownback has these clowns at the controls of the Kansas economy.

But, you see I am a hack blogger. I enjoy my hacking. I do not take kindly to hacks that masquerade as authority. Those are the worst kind of hacks. Of course the great hacks never admit a thing.

This is where we find ourselves. Our America is being guided by the best hacks conservative money can buy. And so good old Governor Sam Brownback with the help of his hacks rationalizations and policy prescriptions has gone and crashed the Kansas economy right into the ditch.

Arthur Laffer is a discredited below average failed economist. Grover Norquist is a one trick pony. Steve Moore, a former editor at the Wall Street Journal is an out of control fire hose of complete and utter nonsense.

This is a Hall of Fame of Hacks. The rubble of the Kansas economy smolders in tribute to their hack ideas. It is a sad day in paradise when an unqualified entertainer hacks his way to the top of this stinking pile of truth. Thank God it’s Friday… May your weekend be guided by the pilot of the truth.

“It was something like the current state of human beings and their believing, when compared to other animals, that they were superior living beings. From Bambalina’s reckoning the man who took care of her didn’t even make horse sense.”

Hot Spring Honeymoon

Now Available on Kindle Select…

Bachelorhood as Infrastructure

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To Have Anything You Must Give Her Everything

     “You peeling down into your French lingerie and your slick high-heeled cowgirl boots, I swear on a stack of Gideon’s, you don’t want a fair fight… Trying to ensnare me in my own weaknesses…. I know your kind; you’ll have nothing and nobody to blame but all those temptations you’re trying to weaken my will with.”

Fletcher McCrea from Hot Spring Honeymoon

 

The majesty of a seduction is something special. At the scale of infrastructure it isn’t just special it is monumental.

A good piece of public policy that works toward the common good of the entire society seems to have become illusive. It is as if the transmission mechanisms for making good choices have been clogged.

It isn’t too hard to understand. We weaken the will of an otherwise sensible person by buttering them up with legalized bribery. This is known as a campaign contribution.

This will work until it doesn’t and right now failure is looking truly global, as in global climate change.

This human foible, this human sickness of being incapable of preventing our politics and economics from destroying mother earth is in full view for all to see. It isn’t a secret. It is tragedy and like any audience we know what is going to happen and yet we are unable to stop it.

Well, one way or another it will end. Like a good love affair sometimes you have to give one thing up to get the pleasure of another.

“If I was you, Fletcher McCrea, I’d start washing my hands and combing my hair. End of your bachelorhood’s not even fifty yards away.”

Glenna Goddard reply… from Hot Spring Honeymoon

 

The Boar’s Big Oil Agony

Pecked to Death
                                                                Boar and Raven

We are ungovernable. We can’t do it.

In other batshit crazy news you might have noticed that the decline of crime is being correlated to a decline in airborne lead levels. Take the lead out of gasoline and just like that you get a 70% decrease in violent crime. Who knew?

The king is not the President it is the status quo, and they very much appreciate the rigged form of capitalism that has been rammed down democracies throat.

The state of being ungovernable is misery itself. We don’t recognize the place. Who knew we would coddle torturers? Why in the world would we give trillions of dollars to bankers and yet still sneer and beat down upon the sick and poor? We have our answer.

Sideshows… there is no longer anything happening center ring.
Capitalism isn’t one thing. It consists of many rules, many different arenas, with many different players. Just mentioning a change in any rule is to invoke being called a communist, socialist, anti­-business feudalist from a family of Neanderthals.

I love that hacks shilling for peanuts from their bosses go to the thesaurus to infuse their tantrums with Mongolian herd rhetoric. Terrific cognitive spear chucking indeed.

I’ll end with this. We are on the verge of producing unlimited amounts of hydrogen. It can be stored as a gas and when it is used to create electricity produces oxygen and water. Need I say this more clearly? OK, clarity then, this solves the climate change crisis civilization faces.

Hydrogen is an excellent means of storing energy. Experimental renewable energy systems in Colorado are scaling the technology as you read this.

Back to being ungovernable. Remember that the threat to civilization is climate change, and it isn’t just a game changer it has the potential to be a game ender.

Stalemates in government give capitalism the time it needs. Even an
existential crisis for the whole of humanity isn’t enough. Obviously there is nothing more important than money you “moronic goon.”

From Hot Spring Honeymoon, “Conventional demolition work didn’t pay near as good as nuclear annihilation, but Fletcher rightly calculated that there wouldn’t be much use for money in a world that no longer existed.”

The revolution will not be televised. Instead the shills for capitalism read their own eulogies. They can’t argue so they lie. We are not supposed to understand, there is nothing to think about, we are supposed to remain in their control.

Solutions abound even if the arena is clogged with pawns sent to defend the filthy obsolete technologies of the last century.

The Saudi royal family knows this all too well. Oil has hitting rock bottom and like all things fated to end it is where the obsolete, the infirm all go to be buried.

Hells Angels & Roller Derby Stars

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The Good, The Bad, and The Rest of Us

I keep having this recurring fantasy that the Hells Angels, the roller derby stars of yesteryear, and my BMW service representative could collectively kick ass in Syria and Iraq.

Instead it looks the timid duck and run political types have all vacated DC and what is left there are a bunch of lobbyists casting about for a tax break or regulation they might ram through our best and brightest.

I respect Martin Wolfe and yet today listening to his interview of the Diane Rheem Show on WAMU… surely you know of this program? Only to realize how complicit Martin was in the disaster that we now generally refer to as the Global Financial Crisis.

Martin seems better. He was as many of us were married to a woman from another era of our life and like all of us he was seduced into her any charms while ignoring all her other many faults. A good dose of lust and passion will go a long way toward motivating a person to look the other way while personal parts of their anatomy are being so splendidly looked after.

And let’s just surf on back down the Potomac and if I have it right most of what is happening now is that our elected representatives spend most of their time searching for money to remain in office while at the same time denying that the money being thrown at them has anything whatsoever to do with how they’ll vote.

They want us to believe it is ideology and not idiotic, that it is innocent and that they are trapped in the constitution, that this is what speech looks like.

While the Hells Angels and Roller Derby Stars are off kicking ass in the Middle East could we at least get a few groups to grow a pair.Oh, I don’t know how about the rest of us.

We are so much in need of being rescued from ourselves.

And I don’t mean to tell you a sad story as to tell you the truth of the corner we have found ourselves in. If and when we figure out how to fix our fixation with carbon based energy we can then move onto the challenge of fixing our human race.

I hear the sun will be out later today. Enjoy……