Changing Fears

The Lull Prior to the Forgetting

Subliminal acts are regular feature length phenomenon of our minds incessant working. We are often unaware that our minds have hijacked our
thinking and that in fact what we are doing is fearing something, worrying about something, planning something, solving something all the while we are doing an altogether different task with our mind. We often describe worrying, or being frightened in negative terms, but more to the point is that it isn’t so much negative as not productive to be in the grip of worry or fear in a mindless way. Then these things kind of take the steering wheel of our lives and drive us off in all sorts of unexamined directions all the while we remain almost oblivious to what it is that is pushing us. The structural limits of the way our mind is organized makes for some stunning insights into the nature of our talents to focus and sustain that focus and remain aware of what we are doing. These lapses in our focus allow all kinds of mischief to occur right under our very nose. The best example of gripping change happens while I am sailing. These increasing fears are related to the increase in the velocity of the wind. I am focusing on adjusting to the higher velocities, doing what is needed to bring the boat under control, but even once the boat is adjusted for the higher  velocities the wind loads on the boat are transmitted to the sailor by way of the wind roar, the tilt of the boat, the pressure you feel against
the sails, and the higher skill levels required of the sailor to cope with further adjustments should they be required. Just about the time you have that all sorted out in your planning process you realize that underneath all of that is the fact that it you are a bit tense, a little more alert, concerned, and possibly just flat out feeling some degree of fear. I don’t mind higher wind velocities, but I do mind not being aware that whatever I am feeling sometimes has to wait while I bring the boat back under control, so that I can bring my fears back under control.

Bankrupt Heart                       The Second Novel

Finn looked at his friend. He was back on his feet. “You’ve done well with Jasmine. She’s looking like someone owns
her, cares for her…”

            “A raucous spirited boat.” Ry said. “If I could find a woman to go with her I’d be known as the man who had everything.”

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