The Luddite’s Guide to Grand Theft Auto

Juggler juggling
Juggler juggling

Raise a family and juggle like this… that’s a hell of a bunch of stuff to keep in the air…

 Want to try my game? I’m playing the comically summarizing getting married game. The couple survives the decade’s long ordeal of raising kids. Then, they devote what is left to their lives beguiled by some post-parental mirage that leads them into the realm of self-rediscovery.

This is the era when they start doing their own thing. It’s a return to the all about me phase, but with a twist, it really never will be all about them.

They take yoga and study meditation. They learn not just about ego, but about how form is emptiness, and emptiness is form. That there is no-self, and that everything is a delusion. They have a lot to learn.

Now, we revise, polish, memorize, test, cut, punch up, and try in front of an audience again. I have to isolate the stage instincts I have from the hard cold blueprint I am presenting. Am I having an off night? Is the material connecting? Not all the new material does, knowing where to cut, where to revise is a key skill in the game of routine building.

This reads a little edgy, but then comedy does sometimes glance off the darker corners of the human experience…

For some reason your kid thinks everything you have in the world is actually all theirs. Everything in their bedroom, the car, all the food in the refrigerator, everything: it is all theirs. And the more expensive the stuff the more likely it’s theirs.

That’s right the blue ray, the flat screen, the Bose sound system, game console it’s all there’s. Why don’t you know that?

And of course your wife, the woman known to them as mom, is now the object of their attention, any of mom’s distractions are your fault and in case you don’t know when they are old enough to finally leave they’ll be taking their mom with them.

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“Veteran Vaudevillian puts down his torches, picks up a pen and delivers all the laughs and charm we know from his show.  Quirky, odd, fun… hijinks, heartbreak and sexual redemption. And it all happens in Nevada or as Dana would say:  ‘Lust in the dust’.   Give yourself a treat and go on a:  Hot Spring Honeymoon.”

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